


And crazy is the forecast all week.

by Kaesteranya



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-03
Updated: 2011-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-18 22:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/194108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaesteranya/pseuds/Kaesteranya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lussuria is heartbroken over Ryohei's decision to get married. It's the Varia to the rescue!</p>
            </blockquote>





	And crazy is the forecast all week.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the 31 Days theme for March 8, 2009.

The day after Ryohei Sasagawa loudly declared that he would be joining Hana in Extreme Matrimony, Lussuria holed himself up in his rooms and refused to speak to anyone, or let anybody inside. No one, therefore, knew exactly what he spent the whole day doing – the only thing they had to go by was the fact that Barbara Streisand songs could be heard from behind the walls all day and all night and all the way until lunch the next day, when Lussuria – all soft-eyed and sniffly – finally emerged from his quarters.

 

One would think that after a fall like that (read: witnessing the totally oblivious love of one’s life propose to another girl), it would take a person at least a few years to recover. Lussuria, however, took pride in his dazzling nature, and made it a point to bounce back as quickly. That, and the unique ways in which the Varia attempted to come to a lady in need really, really helped.

 

First, there was Xanxus, the boss himself; the moment Lussuria came out of hiding, he was subjected to the gunner’s trademark whiskey glass-to-the-head treatment. Lussuria, of course, did not take this against Xanxus; he was fully aware of the fact that physical abuse was the only way that Xanxus knew how to show his affections for anyone.

 

Squalo came soon after, all trussed up like a pig with a bow around his neck, stuffed in the sort of crate that people normally reserved for wine bottles and other inanimate objects. The only reason why he wasn’t nearly as loud as he should have been was because of the ball gag crammed into his mouth. That didn’t stop him from thrashing around though.

 

“How do you like it?” Belphegor asked of Lussuria, with his usual toothy grin. “I prepared Sharky for this myself.”

 

Lussuria shut the door on them both.

 

The next day, Levi came around with a polite knock to Lussuria’s door and a tray of cookies shaped, with exquisite care, like male genitalia. “Since I cannot get you the real thing,” the swordsman declared in a no-nonsense voice. “Bringing whores in here is against the rules, after all.”

 

Fran did not do anything for Lussuria but mock his preference for men (as if HE was one to talk, but _well_ ), but his conscious effort to act like everything was normal was more than enough.

 

In the weeks to come, then, whenever he saw Ryohei going on extremely about his future wife, all Lussuria had to do was go home to mock Xanxus into throwing something at him or tease Squalo about how being gagged really suit him in order to feel better.


End file.
